Boat trip on Chobe: Better than the movies
When we finally arrive at the Lesoma Valley Lodge we are all pretty exhausted. Fortunately, however, it is still early enough to do something. Probably because I drove way too fast and despite the detour to the vet checkpoint and water crossing we are one hour faster than expected. To achieve this with the road conditions probably means that after my return to Germany I will receive at least one offer from Formula 1.
At sunset we want to do another boat tour on the Chobe River. Now everything has to go fast, because the boat starts already in half an hour and for that we have to drive up to Kasane and of course we don’t have the slightest idea how to get there. We jump back into the car without checking in and follow the lodge owner, who kindly shows us the way into the city. Of course not before having to overcome again crater-deep potholes and notches in the road the size of the Grand Canyon. Anything else would have surprised me. Arriving in Kasane, we speed into the foyer of a hotel as if stung by a tarantula and look for the ticket counter. Of course you can’t buy a ticket here without signing a guestbook and actually you would have needed our passport. Due to the rush, however, it is sufficient for one of us to provide his passport number. Now that we have filled out several border forms, I can fortunately memorize my passport number. With the tickets in hand we run to the pier, which is directly behind the hotel and board a pretty big steamer at the very last minute.
Shortly after leaving, we have to dock again, because all passengers have to be recorded in another guestbook. Signing the guestbook seems to be a real sport in Botswana. Luckily, the captain does that for us. Right next to us a smaller boat arrives and at first I believe that it must be an expedition ship of the BBC. There are four chairs next to each other and in front of them are also four lenses the size of gun barrels. This equipment costs at least 30,000 euros per lens. I’m impressed, to say the least.
But as we learn a short time later, it is probably an expedition boat for ornithologists that can also be rented by ordinary mortals. Just bring your own camera and you can screw it in front of the gun barrel. Mirko is about to switch to the other boat and only with great effort can I stop him.
Annoying luxury tourists in the steamer
We don’t like the fact that we landed on such a big ship. We would much rather have had a smaller, more manoeuvrable boat with fewer people and a more private atmosphere. I’m still trying to pull myself together, I don’t want to complain before our tour has even started. But there are a lot of strange people aboard our ship that I don’t want to get to know any further. They are mainly luxury tourists in white safari clothes with oversized hats including a bee net and a sufficient quantity of mascara to make up about 12 models. Remember, mascara in the bush is extremely important. Maybe you can use single eyelashes as a barbecue lighter. All that’s missing is that they’ve also brought their personal valet on the boat.
Of course, the Germans are not far away here either. As always, you can recognise older people abroad by their socks and sandals and this time too we are not disappointed by the prejudice. To be honest, I have no desire at all to exchange myself with my compatriots and listen to 30 minutes of dialogue about which lodge they have just flown into and what kind of animals they have seen.
Luckily we are soon allowed on deck, there are no chairs and no sun protection and there are only 10 people allowed up at the same time, but we have the deck almost to ourselves and can enjoy the view in complete peace without being annoyed about eyelash-covered, rich white people. If it weren’t for this one stubborn German tourist who chewed Mirko’s ear off for half an hour about the lodges and animals he’d just seen.
Crocodiles up close and herds of elephants on the shore
The Chobe River is simply wonderful. On the right side we can see Namibia and the landscape is more than breathtaking. Again and again wide patches of reeds run through the river, in which the animals seek shelter and soon we see the first crocodile in the river. I’m completely freaked out, it’s a huge specimen lying in the sun with its mouth open and warming up.
I never have seen another one so close! At least not without a glass wall in between, which reminds me directly of our experience in Bali, where we were asked in a zoo if we want to see how a crocodile eats a chicken, free of course. No thanks, and again no thanks. Nothing could be more exciting than watching such a huge animal in the wild. When a pretty big monitor is running right next to the crocodile, I really have to suppress a squeaking. All this excitement makes me forget my camera. I couldn’t have decided whether to film the crocodile or the monitor anyway.
More crocodiles follow and then we see a whole herd of elephants taking a bath in the river and eating the reeds. There are even baby elephants and I could almost freak out with joy. In the water the little one splashes around and even tries to climb onto the back of another elephant.
I can’t get enough of it, and honestly, it feels like I’ve been catapulted right into a BBC documentary. This sight is simply never to be forgotten! There really are so many animals in a heap that it seems almost surreal and for safety Pierre asks if this isn’t a zoo after all. What can I say, it’s almost too good to be true, and you get the feeling that time just stops. I could watch for hours and in reality everything is even better than in the most beautiful documentary.
Slowly the herd of elephants continues to move in our direction and we can hardly wait until they are very close. Again and again they stop, drink or dig up the mud with their big soles of the feet to suck it up with their snout and then spread it on their back or under their stomach.
When a smaller bull goes into the water right next to our boat and swims a bit, I am about to ask someone to pinch me. He resurfaces a few meters further on, climbs through the reeds and begins to graze comfortably. Meanwhile, I soon feel like a member of the BBC family. From this trip alone, I will bring home at least 3 hours of video footage and will probably spend another 8 hours viewing and editing the footage. The excitement for my video is so great that I think about sending a letter of application to the BBC.
Showhippos
After that we finally see the first hippos lying in the river. The boat captain says it is useless to count hippos in the water and he is really right, because one always disappears and another one reappears and shortly afterwards two come to the water at the same time. And when they descend, you can even see where they’re going and where they’re going to reappear from the rising bubbles. Meanwhile I desperately try to film an emerging hippo. Again and again I follow the trace of air bubbles and persistently felt eternities until the camera becomes too heavy for me and just at the moment when I put the electronics aside, it appears, but in a different place than I thought.
One thing even gives us a show. First it shows its teeth and then it has to shit. Stupid as it sounds, but seeing a hippo poop is a spectacle. With wild tail wagging and under loud noise it sprays its dung into the river. You could call it a shit propeller. You really shouldn’t try this at home, unless you have a steam jet ready to hand. To look into the huge mouth and I mean, really huge mouth, of a hippo, makes you almost shiver. If I even begin to imagine that such an animal grazed next to my tent at night, I could run away. By the way, opening your mouth is a threatening gesture, because we got too close to him.
The trip was really worth every penny. I don’t think I’ll forget that in a while. This is also because after the trip my arms are finally completely burned, although I spent at least half of my time under my self-made sun sail. With Mirko, on the other hand, everything is already lost. Since the Mokorro tour through the Okavango Delta, he has been completely burned in every possible and impossible part of his body, despite German engineering and „Delta sleeve“.
I also learned an important lesson about hippos. If you meet a hippo in the wilderness, you should hide behind the next tree as soon as possible. Because of the short legs, the hippo can’t walk around the tree that fast. Then you just have to wait for the hippo to get tired. If you meet him on an open field, however, the only chance of survival is to run through the plain in a zigzag. Maybe you’re lucky and you survive, maybe you’re not. In any case a good tip for the next camping.
On the way back to the starting point we enjoy the Chobe River once more and let the wind blow around our noses on the roof of our steamer. Veronica and I are already looking in the travel guidebook for our next destination, the Vic Falls. The only thing missing is a cold beer. But with the cutthroat prices on board, we’re just way too stingy. So we wait a little longer until we arrive at the hotel.
Back at the car we discover the next breakdown. Because I drove too fast through a pothole, our rear left rim has a notch about 8 cm deep and the tyre is as good as flat. It’s a good thing we drove another 400 kilometres without even noticing it. If we had seen this earlier, panic would probably have broken out again in the safari vehicle. Sometimes not knowing is a blessing.
Now we have to go to a tyre dealer tomorrow, who hopefully can repair the rim for us. And we urgently need a carwash, because the rental car company expects us to return the car at least halfway clean and the mud from the Moremi National Park is now boiled down and probably can only be removed with a chisel. Including varnish, of course.
Continue: Zimbabwe and Victoria Falls