Moremi Game Reserve: Breakdowns and stupid questions

Moremi Game Reserve: Breakdowns and stupid questions

2. April 2018 0 By
Game drive in Moremi

After a long and rela­xed break­fast in the Bots­wa­na mor­ning sun we pack our seven things and start our game dri­ve through the More­mi Natio­nal Park.

Just as we lea­ve our camp­si­te, a huge ele­phant stands behind the next bush and shakes the fruits from the tree. What a sight. Ever­yo­ne in the safa­ri van total­ly freaks out and we are about to put on the par­ty caps. When we have all cal­med down again 10 minu­tes later, we try to explo­re the next escape rou­te, just in case. Somehow we stand quite unfa­vour­a­b­ly, becau­se in front of us is a huge mud hole and we are hea­led from mud holes sin­ce yes­ter­day. Howe­ver, the by-pass road is in the imme­dia­te vici­ni­ty of the ele­phant and we do not want to irri­ta­te him under any cir­cum­s­tances. After wat­ching Mr. Ele­phant for about 20 minu­tes, a safa­ri car with ran­gers roars up. They don’t even bat an eyelid as they race past the ele­phant at full speed over the by-pass at a distance of about 3 met­res. Of cour­se, the ele­phant is not enthu­si­a­stic at all, which he makes clear with a loud toad and angry ears. The ran­gers don’t give a damn and we shit our pants.

Time to slow­ly but sure­ly dis­ap­pear. At the main gate to the camp­si­te we want to get rid of some ques­ti­ons today. On the one hand we want to know which rou­te is the best to dri­ve on, becau­se most roads are still clo­sed due to the hea­vy rain and are not pas­sa­ble. We just get the tip to take the road towards the air­port and turn right and left into the side roads.

Bes­i­des, we want to know if we can have ano­ther camp site for tonight. After all, the­re were an incre­di­ble num­ber of mos­qui­toes on num­ber 6 yes­ter­day that kil­led our last ner­ve. The face of the employees is pri­ce­l­ess. With her eyes rol­led back into her head, she looks speechl­ess and shakes her head. Then she looks to the ground and I can lite­ral­ly read her thoughts.

Four pota­toes are afraid of mos­qui­toes and are now of the opi­ni­on that the­re are no more mos­qui­toes about 500 meters away. Yes, it is clear that only Euro­peans can be that stu­pid. Our request is ans­we­red with one thing: We should check which camp­si­te is still available at 5 pm and then she shakes her heads very cle­ar­ly again. All right, I got the clue!

So we go on a safa­ri a bit asha­med. Befo­re we turn towards the run­way we alre­a­dy have to regis­ter the first safa­ri suc­ces­ses of the day, here and the­re we can dis­co­ver ele­phants and ante­lo­pes again and again bet­ween the bus­hes. At the run­way, howe­ver, we are not quite so sure about the way any more, becau­se somehow we can’t find a road with half­way outstret­ched tire tracks. If you can even call this a street any­mo­re. Actual­ly we dri­ve in a mud fur­row, which is cover­ed with grass on the right, left and in the midd­le. Our ques­ti­ons to the ran­gers at the air­field won’t help us eit­her. After we take the next right on their advice and dri­ve through deep under­growth, with which we will tear off almost half of the under­bo­dy in my eyes, we turn around to be on the safe side. We don’t want to pull blades of grass from under the car in the wilderness.

On the main path we deci­de to make a detour to the Para­di­se Pools, which should be very scenic. The way the­re is pro­ba­b­ly quite mars­hy and mud­dy. And as we all know, sin­ce yes­ter­day we pre­fer to keep a bit fur­ther away from mud holes.

The rou­te leads through den­se­ly over­grown area and the­re is no road or even road signs far and wide. Goog­le Maps with GPS does­n’t help eit­her, becau­se we are sup­po­sed to be in the midd­le of the water. Thank you Goog­le, a very good hint. Only two exten­ded tire tracks, in the midd­le of which the grass alre­a­dy grows meters high, show the way. But we wan­ted adven­ture, so now we’­re going on adven­ture. The mood in the safa­ri car is back in full swing and not­hing can stop us anymore.

Flat tyres in the middle of nowhere

About 10 minu­tes later we rip open the rear tire at a branch, which now announ­ces its end his­sing and whist­ling. Gre­at, the second break­down in the midd­le of the bush, I can’t think of any­thing bet­ter! Did I alre­a­dy men­ti­on that get­ting out here is actual­ly for­bidden and may­be a gree­dy lion or a vicious wild boar can wait behind the next bush?

But it does­n’t help, now team­work is nee­ded. Sin­ce the girls have no idea of tech­no­lo­gy any­way, we secu­re the sur­roun­dings and check for game, and I am also respon­si­ble for taking pho­tos and vide­os. Let me put it this way: That I can do.

Bes­i­des pho­tos and vide­os I can also give ins­truc­tions and so the jack is atta­ched and ope­ra­ted under pro­fes­sio­nal fema­le gui­dance. For­t­u­na­te­ly, spa­re tire num­ber 1 hangs direct­ly at the rear of the tail­ga­te and we don’t have to pull out the spa­re tire from under the car under sweat and tears.


To be honest, ever­y­thing works sur­pri­sin­gly well and in about 20 minu­tes the tyre is chan­ged, the hands washed on the on-board water sup­p­ly and the safa­ri vehic­le is rea­dy to go again. From now on, we don’t take any more risks.

Fif­teen minu­tes later we reach a beau­tiful clea­ring whe­re a few ante­lo­pes gra­ze in the back­ground and an ele­phant dozes in the sha­de of the trees. The land­scape sim­ply looks so incre­di­bly para­di­sia­cal that it more than deser­ves the name Para­di­se Pools. In a pond we see a rather big cra­ne or some­thing simi­lar and we enjoy the view for a while.

The jour­ney con­ti­nues through the den­se bush and marsh­lands and we all can’t get enough. It does­n’t take us long to get to the next mud hole. This time we are awa­re of all risks and want to check the pudd­le pro­fes­sio­nal­ly before­hand. Mir­ko and Pierre set off to pro­ve their wil­der­ness suitability.

While Mir­ko tri­es to check the depth of the water with a very thin branch that keeps brea­king off, Vero­ni­ca and I are alre­a­dy lie laug­hing in the foot­well. How much sen­se can it make to check the soil con­di­ti­on of a mud hole with a thin branch? When Pierre pro­fes­sio­nal­ly throws a stick into the pudd­le, we laugh in tears. If the test­ing of a water hole is like this, then we would rather save our­sel­ves this water crossing. Vero­ni­ca thinks that the women have to take care of that and looks for a bet­ter stick and then almost falls into the pudd­le hers­elf. Even after Veronica’s ana­ly­sis we come to no clear result, the­r­e­fo­re a majo­ri­ty decis­i­on is requi­red. Pierre and I are against it and Mir­ko and Vero­ni­ca are unde­ci­ded. When I remind ever­yo­ne again that after yesterday’s expe­ri­ence and only one spa­re tire in our lug­ga­ge, we should pro­ba­b­ly not take any more major risks, we turn around and dri­ve back to the main road. Ins­tead of through the mud hole our way leads through the Mopa­ne forest towards Southgate.

Short­ly the­re­af­ter, our decis­i­on is reward­ed with four zebras at the roadsi­de, which we can obser­ve from very clo­se and in com­ple­te peace. Even Veronica’s dog bar­king out the open win­dow can’t sca­re them. In fact, we’­re so clo­se we can almost pet them. Sim­ply beau­tiful! On the way back we even start­le a buf­fa­lo in the bus­hes. Pani­cked, he runs down the street and then dis­ap­pears into the bus­hes on the other side, unfort­u­na­te­ly wit­hout us being able to take a reasonable pho­to of him. All in all a very suc­cessful safa­ri day.

Back in camp we deci­de to divi­de the work. The girls pitch the tents at camp­si­te num­ber 1, while the boys pick up our chairs and the table from camp­si­te num­ber 6. We are still abso­lut­e­ly sure that the­re will be fewer mos­qui­toes here than on Camp­si­te 6.

I’m afraid our din­ner isn’t quite as lavish tonight. Ins­tead of pota­toes and vege­ta­bles we have can­ned spa­ghet­ti with steak. Well, not quite the idea of a suc­cessful din­ner, but the hun­ger is quick­ly satis­fied becau­se the spa­ghet­ti real­ly tas­tes ter­ri­ble. And we’ll do the dis­hes befo­re dark.
Natu­re 1: 1 travelgroup

Mira­cu­lous­ly the­re are fewer mos­qui­toes and on the last cam­ping evening we share the last 8 bot­t­les of beer under the glit­te­ring star­ry sky. Around 9 pm it is so dark that we deci­de for the safe tent, becau­se you real­ly can’t see your hand in front of your eyes.

About half an hour later, when peace has retur­ned to the camp and half of us are peaceful­ly asleep, the alarm sys­tem of our car goes off out of nowhe­re. You can pro­ba­b­ly hear that hor­ri­ble horn for the next 50 kilo­me­ters. As if stung by a taran­tu­la, we are all stan­ding ver­ti­cal­ly in the tent at the same time and it takes a moment befo­re we even know what is going on. Lucki­ly we took the car key into the tent and can quick­ly set off the wild roar.

Our roof tents imme­dia­te­ly beco­me a high-secu­ri­ty fort­ress. Like the pri­son guards, we now shi­ne our head­lamps on both sides of the area. What was that, a hip­po, a hye­na, a sava­ge who came out of the bush and tried to rob us? Lucki­ly we can’t find any­thing to worry about, but I won’t be able to get out of my tent tonight! And had I alre­a­dy men­tio­ned that head lamps in the bush are abso­lut­e­ly cri­ti­cal goods?

After the night’s rest on the camp­ground has been res­to­red, our alarm sys­tem goes on again after about 15 minu­tes. And again we secu­re the area and can’t find any­thing. From now on, we’ll just lea­ve the car open. The chan­ces of someone try­ing to rob us are negli­gi­ble. Nothing’s going to happen.

Short­ly after­wards I hear the lions roaring in the distance again, pro­ba­b­ly com­plai­ning about the dis­tur­ban­ce at night.

Con­ti­nue: 140 kilo­me­ters to civilization